3 Ways to Tame Selfish Pride Before It Destroys Your Life
By Shaun Shuler
“It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.” ― John Ruskin
No one likes to wait in line, get interrupted, or have a food order come back wrong, but how you repeatedly handle these issues reveal the condition of your heart.
Ask yourself:
Have you ever found yourself stuck in traffic or behind someone not going the speed limit and get extremely enraged?
Do you get highly frustrated waiting in line at restaurants or at the movie theater and expressing that frustration with sighs and eye rolls?
If the waiter gets your order wrong, do you give them attitude about it?
When people interrupt you with issues while you’re working on a project or task, do you get extremely impatient with them?
All these questions above have described me more times than I would like to admit. I have handled these issues exactly like this in the past and never realized my reactions were, and still are, at times deeply rooted with pride. Everybody at one point has reacted as such, but what I want to address is those whose lives are defined by these reactions.
Pride-a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.—dictionary.com
A lot of times selfish pride will manifest itself with an outflow of arrogance and conceit, but there are also times when pride hides, and manifests itself through our angry or frustrated responses to people or things going on around us.
Other examples that may reveal that we are having issues with pride:
Putting your comfort above someone else.
Pointing out everyone’s flaws and never seeing your own.
Getting angry at helpful criticism.
Believing you are more important than those around you.
Impatience with everyone and everything around you.
Getting angry and lashing out at others when failing to win or achieve something you set out to do.
Refusing to confide in someone close to you about any struggles you are having.
The Bible talks a lot about pride and its harmful behavior and that we should turn from it.
Proverbs 16:18 NLT
Romans 12:16 NLT
3 Ways To Tame Selfish Pride Before It Destroys Your Life
#1-Help those in need around you
Hebrews 13:16 NLT
An easy way to attack the pride inside of us is to embrace humility and love on other people. When we are filled with pride, we tend to push others away. Genuinely looking and trying to meet the needs of other people shifts the focused away from ourselves.
What could helping others look like?
Meeting a Physical Need = Yes, this can mean monetary sometimes like to pay a bill or buy groceries. It can also mean sharing what we already have – food, clothing, cooking for someone, giving someone a place to stay for the night, etc.
Acknowledgement = A greeting, a smile, a sincere, “How’s it going?” can go a long way. Sometimes people often feel overlooked, and being acknowledged, no matter how simple it may be, gives them the encouragement that they need to keep going, and that they are seen and do matter.
Time = More than just a greeting, this is being intentional with someone. It may be sitting down with someone for dinner or coffee, inviting them to your home. It could be a phone call or a text, being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or a sounding board. Time is something we give that we can never get back and giving our time to someone is very impactful to those in need of a friend.
The more time we focus on others and see them as important, the less time we will have in focusing the spotlight on ourselves.
#2-Be Thankful
1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT
Do you compare yourself to others?
In the age of social media, it is hard for many to not see the perceived “successes” of those posting and it’s easy to compare our lives to others. The thing is, not everything you see online translates to reality. One perfectly shot photo doesn’t show what’s going on behind the scenes. Nor does a 15 second video reveal what is really happening the other 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 45 seconds. Getting frustrated with your life or envious at others for the things they have or their “exciting lives” only exposes our heart not theirs.
Maybe you are under horrible circumstances at the moment. However, despite all the negatives, we can still find something (good health, reliable car, good friends, relationships, waking up each morning, unexpected bill being cheaper than we thought, etc.) to be thankful for.
Philippians 4:6 NLT
We need to develop an attitude of gratitude. A few years back my wife and I created a thankful jar, and throughout the year when we have something that we’re thankful for, whether big or small, we would write it down on a post it note, fold it over, stick in the jar and read them all at the end of the year. Every time we do it we are amazed at some of the things that we were thankful for earlier in the year that we had forgotten about. Not only that, when we begin to see life in the eyes of gratefulness, we realize that seemingly small stuff can be big blessings in the grander scheme of things.
Waking up every day and being purposefully thankful for GOD’s blessings and doing this consistently will refresh and fill your heart with joy where pride cannot take root.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
#3-Reach Out to Someone For Help
Proverbs 13:10 NLT
Proverbs 12:15 NLT
Asking for help takes humility which counteracts pride. It is never fun to admit when we are wrong and it is never fun to confess to someone else that we are struggling. We are not meant to go through life alone. Although some try to be Lone Ranger Christians, there is no Biblical basis or commands that state it’s ok or profitable to do so. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. In fact, asking for help on an issue we are having actually shows strength and courage. Admitting you need help is always the first step to recovery. Confessing that pride is a sin that we’re struggling with and reaching out to someone that can pray for us and help us be accountable is very important.
Humility is the opposite of pride. Humility is not thinking less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less.
Reaching out to someone we trust, or someone who has gone through similar issues is a great step in tackling pride in our own heart.
“Pride deafens us to the advice or warnings of those around us.” –John C. Maxwell
Pride can be a silent killer, and if left unchecked, can kill your meaningful relationships, damage your reputation, and ultimately, leave you broken, miserable, and completely alone.
We will always struggle with moments of selfishness but we shouldn’t allow pride to dominate our lives.
Embrace humility and surely the peace of GOD, will follow.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and know that you don’t need to battle these struggles alone.
Please leave any comments, prayer requests, or ideas for new topics you’d like for me to discuss in the comment box below.
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