Answers to 7 Popular Reasons People Give for not Attending Church
By Shaun Shuler
“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 NKJV
Editors Note: In 2020 most churches were closed due to the pandemic, so these reasons are what are usually given when the church doors are normally open.
Going to church is not always a popular topic, and it is really easy to point out all of the imperfections of the people in the church or come up with reasons why not to go to church. Many nowadays do not even see an importance to attend and possibly become active in a local church. Church, however, is important for 3 main reasons:
It is a place you can learn about GOD, JESUS, and how to become and live as a Christian.
It is a place to get encouragement when you are struggling.
It is a place where you can give encouragement to others who are struggling.
The following are answers to 7 popular reasons people give for not wanting to go to church:
Everybody There Are Hypocrites
This is true in the church and it is also true everywhere else outside the church. Now if we are honest with ourselves, at one point or another, we have believed one way and acted out the opposite way.
Most would agree that playing with our phones while driving is wrong, yet some of us make the decision to still text or look up something on our phones when we are behind the wheel.
How about gossip? We will condemn others when they gossip about us or someone we care about, but the first chance we get juicy information about another person, we cannot wait to share it.
Ever complained about who was elected to a political office, but you actually never voted?
Even in the church, we as Christians know what we are suppose to do, but sometimes through moments of weakness or misinterpretation of the Bible, we will do the opposite of what GOD wants us to do.
“For EVERYONE has sinned; WE ALL fall short of GOD’s glorious standard.”
Romans 3:23 NLT
Not some, not a few, but EVERYONE sins, and WE are ALL imperfect. We should not hold anybody to a standard that none of us can live up to.
“Indeed, WE ALL make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.”
James 3:2 NLT
You will make mistakes and people in church will make mistakes. Everyone with breath in their lungs is in a process of growing and we only stop making mistakes when we are dead.
Do not let the flaws of others keep you from finding a church and experiencing something that can be encouraging and fulfilling.
All they want is my money
This is a sore subject for many people. We have all seen televangelists pushing people to give their money so “their prayers can be answered”, or a top news story when a church, a church worker, or even a preacher gets caught in an embezzlement scandal of some kind. Yes, there are some that use their position as a religious leader to take advantage of others financially, but this is not the example of all churches.
Perhaps you may have been in a church that was too aggressive in asking for money, which made you feel guilty if you didn’t give. There is an answer in the Bible about this.
“You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For GOD loves a person who gives cheerfully.”
2 Corinthians 9:7 NLT
GOD does not want you to give in frustration or simply because a preacher skillfully pressures you to give. Now, please understand, that there is a Biblical basis in giving to the church.
You have heard the terms tithe and offering and it is easy to think they mean the same because of the financial similarities. Tithing is giving a tenth of what you earn, offering is giving anything extra beyond that.
I can probably do an entire article just on this subject, but I will end this topic for now with this: giving to the church is about funding the work of the church, but it is also a step of faith in that you are showing GOD you trust Him with your finances. In Malachi, GOD tells us to “test Him” and He will bless us.
“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house. Test Me in this,” says the LORD ALMIGHTY, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”
Malachi 3:10 NIV
GOD won’t accept me for who I am
This one is categorically false. Even if you are the lowest degenerate, according to society, you are still loved by GOD.
“But GOD showed His great love for us by sending CHRIST to die for us while we were still sinners.”
Romans 5:8 NLT
Whether you are a Christian that has trouble letting go of certain behaviors or someone who has never been to church, GOD is always waiting and ready to forgive and accept you.
“For this is how GOD loved the world: He gave His one and only Son, so that EVERYONE who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16 NLT
Another “EVERYONE” statement in the Bible. It is normal to feel that your mistakes are horrendous to GOD and how can He accept you. Just understand, as Paul wrote in Romans, nothing can separate us from GOD’s love.
“And I am convinced that NOTHING can ever separate us from GOD’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from GOD’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, NOTHING in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of GOD that is revealed in CHRIST JESUS our LORD.”
Romans 8:38-39 NLT
This reminds me of an anecdote that has been circulating for years now. A speaker held up a $100 bill and asked the audience who would like to have the money. Everyone raised their hands. Even when the speaker crumpled the money, stepped on it, crushed it with his shoe, everyone still wanted the money because all the other stuff did not diminish the value of the bill. Same way with us, we may be riddled by reasons why GOD will not accept us. However, all these reasons will not change our worth and value in GOD’s eyes.
Been hurt in church before
This I can speak from personal experience. I was removed as Sunday School teacher at a church back in the late 90’s, due to false allegations from someone very close to me. People in the church believed her over me and I was treated like an outcast.
Being judged wrongly was difficult. I spent a lot of time with bitterness and anger, but just like I mentioned earlier in this post (see #1), people in church make mistakes.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in CHRIST GOD forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:32 NIV
I had to learn to forgive them all in order to move on - which is always the first step to healing. However, being a work in progress, I still struggle at times opening up to people in church from fear of rejection.
Ultimately, I cannot blame everyone at all churches for the pain I experienced by a few people 20+ years ago, and if you have been hurt like me, you should not either.
Life is Good, I don’t need church.
Let’s say for the moment you are correct. If GOD has blessed you with health, wealth, good job, a great family, then you are in a position to be a testimony and a blessing to others who are struggling.
You can be a mentor and share about the times you struggled in the past and how GOD brought you through it.
“Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves.”
Romans 15:1 NASB
Church is meant to learn about GOD and His love for us, but it’s also meant to be a place of encouragement to those in need of it.
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:3-4
Some of the most impactful moments in one’s life is when they encounter another person who has already gone through the same struggles, sicknesses, or heartbreaks that they are currently going through.
I do not learn anything when I go
If you go to church with the mindset that you will not learn anything, then you probably won’t.
If you go and really try to listen and try to learn but do not get anything out of it, keep on doing it.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”
Matthew 7:7 NLT
The key two words “keep on” means to be persistent in our prayers and actions. Keep on asking questions if we do not understand something in the Bible or what the preacher is preaching.
We need to be intentional in trying to learn. Let us have an open mind and ask GOD to reveal something to us prior to going to church. Ask you questions to those in your life who have wisdom and experience from being a Christian for many years. Another option you can take is to get a study Bible, but just do not trust blindly what any person says about GOD or the Bible. When asking for help in trying to gain more understanding, ask multiple people when you can, to see if they all come to a consensus. Just remember you are looking for wisdom and knowledge, not somebody’s opinion.
But please don’t refuse to go to any church just because you have not “gotten anything out of it yet.”
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask GOD, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
James 1:5 NIV
Can't stand the music/worship experience
“Praise the LORD! Praise GOD in his sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty heaven! Praise Him for His mighty works; praise His unequaled greatness! Praise Him with a blast of the ram’s horn; praise Him with the lyre and harp! Praise Him with the tambourine and dancing; praise Him with strings and flutes! Praise Him with a clash of cymbals; praise Him with loud clanging cymbals. Let everything that breathes sing praises to the LORD! Praise the LORD!”
Psalms 150:1-6 NLT
This is probably one of the most divisive topics in all the church. The music is either too old, it’s too contemporary, it’s too loud, too soft, more about the performers and less about GOD.
Many of the complaints about church that I have heard are centered around the music or even how some in the congregation choose to worship. In fact, I know an example where a lot of elders in a church constantly complained about the direction the music was going and eventually the pastor left the church.
“I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer.”
Psalms 63:4 NLT
“Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the Lord our maker,”
Psalms 95:6 NLT
“And David danced before the LORD with all his might, wearing a priestly garment.”
2 Samuel 6:14 NLT
King David would probably be frowned upon in many of our churches based on 2 Samuel 6:14. I truly believe we can stand, we can sit, we can dance, we can sing out loud or under our breath, we can rock back and forth, we can raise our hands in the air, or keep our head down and eyes closed while thinking about JESUS. If the way we praise and worship GOD does not become about us and does not disrupt the church service, then it should not matter how one expresses their love to GOD.
The point of worship is connecting with GOD in the way we are comfortable with, that it is about giving Him all the attention and if how you worship is genuine, then we are pleasing to Him.
In my church, I may not always like or know every song being sung, and that is ok. It is in those moments that I pray or think about how good GOD has been to me the previous week. I may not raise my hands when I worship, but I usually notice myself rocking back and forth to the music. Also, when I think the music can be too loud, all I do is sit further to the back away from the speakers.
Point is, there are adjustments we can make if the music is an issue, but having an issue with the music is not a strong enough reason for us to avoid church. If the person next to you worships differently than you do and it distracts you, move seats.
“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
This is not about increasing attendance at church, this is not about completing a list of go-do’s, this is not about going to church just to feel good about ourselves. Going to church is ultimately about learning that the world does not revolve around me and you, and learning that GOD loves us and wants a deep relationship with us daily.
Going to church can be rewarding and life changing if we are following the LORD’s lead, but if we stay home, go to church for the wrong reasons, or go to church but do not participate in anything, we are missing out on so much.
If you have not been to church in a while (especially prior to 2020), and an in-person service is happening, then go this weekend and give it another try!
Need Encouragement or Advice?
GOD’s Love for You
One Irrefutable Truth in the Midst of Trouble
Anger
Anxiety
Hope
Prison of Loneliness
Encouragement from King David
15 Promises from the Bible (Part 1)
15 Promises from the Bible (Part 2)
Protection
Jonah: Beyond the Great Fish
Failure
3 Ways to Tame Pride
Faith over Fear
JESUS and HIS Resurrection
Where is GOD in my Suffering?
When will the World End?
Thank you for visiting and please leave any comments, questions, prayer requests, or ideas for new topics you’d like for me to discuss in the comment box below.
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